So, Super Mario Bros. 3 has finally been released today on the Virtual Console for Wii. The press release claims the “greatest game ever” is now available for download. I was excited to check the list only to find out that the press release was full of lies and knives to be struck into my heart. Mario 3 was great and all, but where’s the game that gave me many hours more replay? Where is the game that lets you kill people with a dodgeball? Where is Technos’ Super Dodgeball?

For the uninitiated, Super Dodgeball lets players take control of Team USA and travel around the globe to Iceland, Kenya and Japan, among other places, in a killing spree to become the greatest dodgeball team in the world.

And yes, you really do kill your opponents. How else would you explain them turning into tiny little cherub angels floating up to the skies? Each team member is able to perform a super throw that inflicts massive damage via the medium of a dodgeball.

This gem of a title was released back in the ’80s and had players competing to take down the USSR. Of course, if you just wanted to run around your school and pummel your classmates, you can do that too!

The Virtual Console is a nice feature, but until Super Dodgeball and other titles that aren’t as well known as say, Super Mario Bros. 3, come out, the VC will be gathering virtual dust.