Twilight should be on the banned books list

About two years ago, a good friend of mine and former roommate from college (a very attractive girl) invited me to go see “Twilight: New Moon.” She’d read all the books and seen the first movie, and this was her second viewing of the second movie. I figured, “Whatever.” I should’ve figured, “SHOOT ME NOW!”

I’d heard how bad the first movie was, so I thought I was sufficiently prepared. Sparkling vampires? OK, stupid.. but OK. A stupid girl who spends probably half the movie screaming and crying obsessively about Edward the vampire leaving her? Unforgivable. Poor acting from both her and Edward? Even more unforgivable.

The only redeeming part of the movie was the character of Alice. The actress acted well for the crap dialog and script handed to her.

Now, now, before you hate (though I doubt anyone who enjoys the movies reads this), I have heard that the books are much better. Hell, books of pretty much any movie are better than the movie versions. But let’s look at the plot that persists even into the books.

The character of Bella is a poor role model for anyone in the world. She’s a whiny girl who can’t function without some guy to protect her. I know not the plot of the movies, but I’ve heard that when Bella and Edward have sex, she’s left with marks. So the story condones beating and violence of a woman just because he’s a bit stronger and can’t hold back?

Then she becomes pregnant with a freak baby that’s growing abnormally fast and is going to kill her from the inside. She insists on keeping it?

I hear that the appeal of the story of Twilight is that of love. Tell me if this is love. A 55-year-old guy starts hanging around with a girl, acting all cool and gets the girl to fall for him. Only problem is she’s 17. Now imagine the guy is 100+ years old and she’s still 17. That’s Twilight! It’s about pedophilia.

Edward is a vampire born in 1901 (Wikipedia) who retains the body of a 17-year-old. HE’S A PEDOPHILE. It’s not about love, but about an older man preying on a young girl.

The Twilight series should be on the banned books list.

2 thoughts on “Twilight should be on the banned books list”

  1. I wouldn’t go as far as calling sparkling Edward a pedophile, but I would say he’s got a weird taste in women / girls for his age. Having a body of a teenager wouldn’t stop his emotional and intellectual growth, so why would a seasoned elder ever be interested in a whiny emo chick, let alone pretend to go to school year after year. Personally I wouldn’t be able to stand it.

    Imagine having all the time in the world. What do you do? Why of course, pretend to be a regular teenager, because who needs to learn how to play piano or guitar, master any number of languages or, quite frankly, do ANYTHING that’s even remotely more interesting as being a teenage student for a 100th time.

    The world of Twilight is painfully naive, catering to teenage girls who would love some full-contact action with the werewolf kid and his glorious abs. Or at least some girls would want that. The rest would want the sparkly prince charming to take them tree climbing.

    One could argue that a movie has to be naive, ridiculous or just plain stupid to be entertaining, and that Twilight is not for everyone. If you’re mesmerized by the young Justin Bieber’s talent and you love the sob story that is Harry Potter you will find something to like in Twilight. I think the movies, both Twilight and Harry Potter, aside from using flawed logic, are just too long with not much to chew on.

    I’d watch a Potter movie and think to myself: When is the shit finally going to hit the fan? I saw the trailer … This isn’t what I thought it would be.

    Two hours of inner struggle, emo sob moments and pointless dialogue and five minutes of action. You want me to bang you? Hold on there, missy. I’m over 100 years old and I have my rules, not like you kids. I’m old school. Not until after the wedding, ok?

    P.S. – You had a girl roommate and she was very attractive? You should post about that instead. Who’s with me?

  2. Please. Twilight is one of those topics that needs to be dropped from daily conversation…because it’s old fucking news! Are you really upset here, or are you just repeating the watery concerns of others you’ve adopted far too late to make a point?

    Also, what would a list of banned books mean for this country—for you? Do you really wish to give up your liberty in determining whether a book is lawful or not? And would you give up the freedom of choice over a book of eventual insignificance?

    Think before you act.

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